II.
My names, given to me by Papa and Mama Rolz; are Omowunmi Morolake Elizabeth Shodiya.
Professional competence sets me as a lawyer of the Federal High Court of Nigeria.
I, haven’t seen the 4 walls of a law court in over 2 years.
It seems as fresh, as this moment, when it’d all happened.
I was called to bar 4 years ago; a budding lawyer of about 26 years of age. I had high prospects- which I do not know if I’d ever regain; for all that consumes me is this experience, that left my heart shattered.
It recurs in my dreams; and so sleep is not my lot.
30 minutes into sleep, like an alarm clock, I wake up wailing.
My psychiatrist helps me understand, that staying away from the court of law is an avoidance symptom.
It sure is.
Who, wants to visit, the place of their pain?
I remember my dream from 2 nights ago.
This time, he waswielding a knife in one hand, a shotgun in the other.
With the shotgun pointed at my wig, he’d slashed my wrist in one swift motion.
I came to, and when I did, I was soaked in sweat, gut wrenching cries emanating at the top of my lungs.
My sister, was beside me, looking at me with a mixture of horror and pity.
‘Sister Rolz…Sister Rolz, It’s Ok; It’s Ok’
I panted heavily, as if returning from a 100metres dash.
I gave Kemi, a horror-filled look.
‘Kemi…he had a shotgun pointed, at my head!’
I muttered continuously, barely audible against the noise of generators in the background.
‘Shhh…go back to sleep.’
My eyes, were frightened.
My heart, filled with sympathetic stimulation.
But, I released Kemi; pretending to be asleep.
What, sleep?
Week 2 Message to the Pre-Intern: don’t lose hope! Week 2, for me, was 2 months post-induction. This was when the wait began to sink in. You mean I’ve been home for two whole months? By now, I was literally chewing on my fingernails. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t scared of getting a space, but I certainly wasn’t confident about any place anymore. That is when I began to write this book. Today is the 12th of September and I sit at the dining table in my parents’ house, typing at 11:27pm (because well, I have an editing job to finish up, but mostly because I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow morning). If I don’t want to, I don’t even have to take a bath tomorrow morning because well, I can stay indoors all day! (I most likely will stay indoors, except for those few minutes when I step out to buy hot akara for my akamu). I am spent. You know, I have applied to a couple of places now. Let me start with the first: LS Health Service Commission At the State Health servic
Comments
Post a Comment